I heard we made out
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How naked do you want me to be?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
