i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
