think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
