I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
