Michael Bay diarrhea
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
