My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
