someone owes me an orgasm
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
