WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
