she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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