do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
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