apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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