Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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