I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
