it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
