i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
