Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
