Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
