i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
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It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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