and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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