This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
