I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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