Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
BRING THE BAGELS
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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