Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Moan for me like Helen Keller
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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