I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
