Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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