I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
