being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
