Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
