forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
