at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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