Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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