u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
