Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
