living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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