He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
