So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Help. Why am I so naked?
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