I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
