Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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