Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
