There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
