It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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