I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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