where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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