Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize