Soap is not a condiment
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My apartment stinks of burning failure