You're my little dorito
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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