we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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