Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
