I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize