I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
