Im at strip club and am horny
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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