i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
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I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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