Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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