that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
