I'm going to jail i love you
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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