Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
