at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
