Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
