I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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